so now the tables have turned on me
when i want him the most it seems now he wants me to feel all the pain i made him feel
i mean yea it makes sense but i guess i dont like how it feels
it hurts
alot
and i mean i want to just yell fuck it i dont want u yah jerk
but then that would make me a liar
and a bad one at that
i just want
i mean i dont want to hurt n e more
i felt pain my just about everyone in theword
and i could care less i really could care less
but not from him
everytime he cuts me with small words i feel like
idk
like a sledge hammer just pounded me dead in the chest
like when he told me that in not trying to hurt myself i hurt him
i wanted to beat the crap outta myself
which i kinda ina way did. im not going to mention how tho so ...
but god id rather suffer years of pain from him then just one second without him
let him hurt me
let him be the reason
but just let him be there
i dont want to ever live with out him
i dont care
he loves or hate me either way hes thinking of me
at least i have him in some way.
but i really dont think this is good for my mental health
i mean i went from the extreme of depression and cutting to now killing myself
if he ever left me
when i think about things i talkd to friends with i would tell some of them that
um yeah there obsessed with these dudes
but kno i feel like a serious hypocrite
im i going crazy over someone like him ?!
i dont care.
i dont care
i dont care
i love him
i dont care
