i pushed him away and pretty much grabed him and flug him over the cliff. ppl act differently when they are faced with certain situations. like my friend for example, she plays it out and acts all wild so no one sees her hurt. but i dont. i step back into my castle with fortified walls and a surrounding river filled with alligators and eels and paranas. then i simply press the default button, and go about as if nothing could ever hurt me, when in side i want to die and let go of everthing. of all the pain.
i kno he ment well and might have even helped me but i dont want to risk the pain. when ppl claim to love u it only makes me more defensive and suspicious cuz even i kno theres a line between emotions. hes love me one minute and hurt and hate me the next. they all do. but i cant help feel like i let something that might have been good slip away.
to him who made me feel again
i locked myself away so i wouldnt get hurt
i build thick walls and prayed to never feel again
because many have tried to climb my walls
and many others try to break there way in
so i made my walls higher and covered the windows
i hardened my heart and hid under my bed
expecting loud explosions and rattles of my gates
but u caught me off guard with a simple knock on my door
thats never happened before
i dont kno wat to do
i run to open the door and realize
i dont kno how to do it
so focused on keeping ppl out that
i dont remember how to let them in
i look out my windows only to c u walking away
and something catches me eyes
carved writings all over my walls telling me
"if they push u push them back...
but if they extend a patient hand push them even harder
because they deserve so much better."
as i see u walk away i am forced to wipe away my tears
because theres a silhouette in the horizon and she waiting for u
